Countless
by SerenLyall
Summary: Han Solo was not, by nature, one to care much for numbers, unless it involved the words "money," "time," or "calculations for the jump to lightspeed so we don't end up in a star somewhere, thank you very much." But there was one thing he could not help but count: the number of times her lips touched his. [An exploration of Han and Leia's early relationship]


**Disclaimer:** Star Wars and all characters, places, and items related thereto are not, in any way, shape, or form my own. All belong to Lucasfilm and their respective owners. I'm only dabbling in the great big sandbox, and I promise to return the characters safely home before supper.

**Rating/Warnings:** K; A mild reference to PTSD and panic attacks.

**Notes:** I was working on "figuring out" Han and Leia's relationship today. Part of that process is often me rambling, writing bits and pieces and fragments of pieces, most of them illegible and nonsensical. Somehow, though, something understandable came out of my "doodlings" during Astronomy lecture today. I figured I'd share. I hope you enjoy, and if you do, I'd love to hear from you! What you liked, what you thought I could improve upon, even just a simple "It was good!" would be very much appreciated. (I can only know how to improve if I know what I'm doing right and/or wrong!) Really though, the most important thing is that I hope you enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong>-Countless-<strong>

The first time Han ever kissed Leia, she punched him, hard enough to wind him, and spat a very unladylike curse in his direction before stalking away.

He didn't try kissing her again for a year.

The second time Han kissed Leia, she yelled at him for a solid minute – and he was fairly certain there were at least four languages used, though he couldn't be certain – and then she didn't speak to him again for three days. It took Han a long week to remember that she had kissed him back.

The third time Han kissed Leia, it was the only thing that managed to break her out of a crippling panic attack. He broke the kiss as soon as she froze, and for the first time, his cocky smirk wasn't in place. "You're not alone anymore," he reminded her quietly. And then he turned to leave. (He was amazed first in that he had managed to escape without any bruises; he was amazed second in that she sat with Luke at dinner that night, though he had already been seated to Luke's left.)

The fourth time Han kissed Leia, they were on a dark and breaking ship with the Imperial fleet on their asses, dirty hands, and a dozen bruises apiece. For the first time, it wasn't her who ended the kiss.

* * *

><p>The first time Leia kissed Han was in a darkened side corridor of the <em>Millennium Falcon<em>. This time it was him who pulled away, breaking their kiss and holding her at arm's length. As he looked at her, puzzled, he could only see how her face seemed unnaturally pale in the steadily blinking blue lights of the panels to either side, how her dark eyes seemed to swallow what little light there was. It took him aback – Leia was normally so careful about what emotions she allowed to show on her face. So why was she showing him this… Han struggled to find a word to describe what it was he saw in her expression. _Fear_, he realized with a jolt. _She's afraid._

"Leia," he began, still holding her away from him. "Leia, I don't-"

"You've been trying to kiss me for nearly three years, now, Han Solo," she said, her voice strangely tight. "I don't expect that desire has changed at all since this morning."

"I don't… That's not… No," Han stuttered, then snapped his mouth shut. "Leia, what are you doing?" he asked instead.

"I would think it was obvious," Leia replied dryly.

There was silence for a long second.

"Look," Han sighed, running one hand distractedly through his hair, his other hand remaining on her shoulder. "I won't deny the fact that I'd like to kiss you. But if you do…uh, kiss me…well, I want it to be for the right reasons." Leia frowned. "I don't want it to be because you're scared. Or feel as if you owe me anything. Or…"

"I don't _owe _you _anything_," Leia snapped, deathly dark eyes snapping. "And I'm not _scared_," she hissed. "Maybe you were right. Maybe I just like scoundrels."

_There's the princess I know,_ Han smirked to himself, though he knew at least half of what she said was a lie. Aloud, however, he said, "I thought you liked 'nice men'."

It was Leia's turn to sigh, though it was more a huff of annoyance. "You're insufferable. You know that?"

Now Han truly did smirk. "So you've said," he commented blithely, lips curling up into his usual cocky grin.

"I can't see how I ever fell for you."

"Me neith-" Han choked. "Wait, what?"

Before he could stop her, Leia had brushed his hand away from her shoulder, leaned in, and pressed her lips against his for a second time. She broke away, pulling back just enough that she could look into his surprised face, and smiled, saying, "I've made my choice. And _this_ is my choice."

Then she was kissing him for a third time.

* * *

><p>After that, Han stopped counting.<p> 


End file.
